2020 vision: looking into the new year
- integritytalks
- Dec 21, 2019
- 5 min read
Updated: Apr 21, 2021
Another decade is upon us,so soon most will be adorned in glitter,ringing in the new year with a bottle of bubbly and hoping for that midnight smooch.The aftermath,however, is not as exciting...
All that glitters might not be gold after all. Its alot to take in,we all try to sum our lives up by reflecting on the last year we just had. While some may have had a productive year, its important we don't compare our summary to other peoples timelines. Making "Big moves" such as; starting a family,buying your first house,owning a car,getting a job promotion,big pay rise or graduating are wonderful achievements. One should be proud of hitting these goals in life,but these things should not determine a successful person. Often we compare ourselves based on how other people are living and what they are doing, that you are not. We hear phrases referring to age,also being a factor in our pity party. Feeling as though because we are not married before 30 or choose not to have kids at all, we might look at our life as a whole failure. Younger generations are constantly being fed the message of being independent, having freedom to be ourselves,explore life more and settle down less. Yet we still feel the pressure to live up to something or be something. Who for ?
Have our elders conditioned us into thinking we must live life by a strict timeline made-up decades ago ?
Everything seems so easy to attain from the outside,social media definitely holds a guilty card. It seems like our dreams are piling up one on top of the other,the more we endlessly scroll,the bigger the fantasy builds up in our mind. We are so distracted by what we see other people doing,we forget to live for ourselves. Glamorous lifestyles and big houses in the hidden hills,must be pretty grand. We cant lie,being the only single one around a table full of your (now) married friends,is a kick in the teeth. Its difficult to accept that every year life moves on, it is so easy to compare yourself to siblings and peers,perhaps because we feel we deserve those same blessings that seem quick to come by for everyone else.And can't understand why its not happening for us, but we can't help but feel disheartened that our friends are moving on without us.
So how exactly did we get into this so-called mess ?
We come into the new year,ready to go and break boundaries to totally change our lives, because up till now, we just haven't had the time.
Year after year of procrastination and shitty new years resolutions,we fool ourselves into thinking THIS one, will be the ultimate game-changer.
First off. Lets say, its important to know that whatever stage you are at in your life, believe it is where your meant to be. Do not hold yourself to expectations of others, or societal pressures. You don't have to fit a stereotype, we can't plan every milestone to the exact minute. Not all milestones have to even exist in your life. While coming up with a plan to create a way to reach our goals is effective,if all you did was get out of bed today,you did well. Its hard, to know that our life is perhaps not quiet where we want it and can be so overwhelming at times to even know where to start. Ever heard of those quotes that tell us,all these great things happen when you least expect it. The idea that the more we search for something desperately the further away we push it. We often have our mind fixed on a certain idea of what we want life to be,its so narrow that we actually miss opportunities that could probably bring us to the same path,just in a different way. "Too busy counting the stars,we forget to see the moon." We get it.
If your sick of hearing passing comments and unsolicited advice from people doing (seemingly) better than you,raise your hand. Let us not demonize ourselves for past mistakes and what ifs. As clique as it sounds,now is the time to do something about something. To keep momentum going,we think its time to ditch the new years resolutions. Bold, We know.
Listen... if we make up some random statement and call that a resolution,we are lying to ourselves. Unless we really create a vow for ourselves that appeals intrinsically, its never going to last. Giving up foods,hitting the gym, tightening the purse strings, they all seem like doable deeds. What we must question though is, after we loose that weight, or save on the weekly shop: How is it going to change me ?
Once we have achieved that goal set, how can we ensure that it will have a long term effect. While these are great changes to make,image how you would feel once you've gained that healthy body you've always dreamed of. Bought that car you managed to save up for. What next ?
New years resolutions are as transparent as getting a new hair do and expecting to be a different person afterwards, I'll admit changing something on the outside definitely gives you a quick boost of confidence. After the euphoria has faded away,it's still just our old self under that lid. Coming into the new year, if we really want change, we need to look further inside ourselves. Figure out what we really want, find a clear vision of how we see our life within the next decade. Where we stumble is when we map something out that is only attainable short term, superficial or external goals is not enough to make that real change you want. focus on what you want in the long run and work towards making that happen.
" We always overestimate the change that will occur in the next two years and underestimate the change that will occur in the next ten. Don't let yourself be lulled into inaction."
- Bill Gates
By working backwards we can put our priorities and true values first, if we look at where we hope to be by the end of 2020, we can start to cultivate that vision rather than fulfilling our time with smaller goals that derail us from our true potential.
For those that are unsure of where it is you want to be,there is no shame in being lost,ditching the resolutions might actually be a good thing. Overthinking what we want to do based on what we think we can do,is tiring. We only look at ourselves based on what we have already lived. So go out,travel and find new places and people to share your life with. Actually learning about other people and their experiences might help bring you close to you desires.
All we can say is, be clear,be clear with what you want (if you know what that is) and say no to anything that is not that.
If you still are confused,know that its okay to feel that way,but stay motivated. The great thing about being lost is finding something new, its almost like having a blank slate. You can pretty much design life you way you want it to be,rediscovering yourself might just be the best way to live the new year. Just knowing that living life by your time holds no limits, dont rush through things you dont even want to appease others. Surround yourself with people who understand you or match your goals, by no means feel your in competition with them,choose to learn from the people in your life. From the negative experiences to the positive, the work on ourselves will be way more important than a new years resolution. It may take a while to get to where you want, but knowing that you are trying is enough.
Show up for yourself, take your time,living by your rules.
So many of us try to be anything other than ourselves, when truthfully the best thing to do is be the person we already are,instead of trying to reinvent ourselves.
Avoid burning out this year,see things clearly,have your vision prepared.
You do you.
Happy YOU Year.
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